


Certain Things

by Evil_Little_Dog



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Endings, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-22
Updated: 2004-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 19:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/pseuds/Evil_Little_Dog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  There are certain things you're not supposed to hear.<br/>Disclaimer:  No, no, never, never, uh, uh uh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overheard

Kitty loved the mansion’s library. First of all, books. Books were her friends. And there was this great chair next to a window with a southern facing so if there was any sunlight at all, it’d spread through and cover everything gloriously.

And if it was a nice fall day, even better, because that meant the A.C. was off and she could have the window open and enjoy the sounds of birds and kids playing and the fountain splashing, just a few hundred feet away.

She loved this spot. It was one of her favorites. When she looked outside, she could see the fountain and the gardens and in the spring and summer, the smell of roses and other flowers drifted inside.

Kitty had settled in with a copy of Hamlet, a bottle of Coke and a notepad. She wanted to get this paper started so she wouldn’t have to rush around next week, during Thanksgiving, to get it done. Besides, Jubilee would kill her if she tried to beg off the after-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas sales.

She’d just finished her notes on Act One when the voices intruded on her concentration. There was the crunching sound of shoes on gravel and a second pair, moving a little more quickly.

“Where are you going?” Rogue almost sounded breathless, she must’ve been the one chasing after.

“Not sure yet, kid.”

Kitty turned towards the window abruptly. That was definitely not Bobby’s voice.

“You mean you’re just taking off.” Now Rogue sounded pissed.

There was a pause, long enough for someone to draw a deep breath and release it. “No, I’m not just takin’ off.”

“You said you got your answers at Alkali Lake.” Still pissed.

“Look, I’m not trying to find answers, okay? I just, look,” a sigh, “I need some time.”

“You mean you’re runnin’ away?”

There was more crunching sounds, quick steps, coming closer to the window. Kitty shrank back into her chair as Logan’s voice lowered a little, became more heated. “I ain’t runnin’ away.”

“So, what, you’re just gonna hop on that bike and see where it takes you?”

“Somethin’ like that.”

“That sounds kinda like runnin’ away.” Her voice softened. “Logan. Don’t go.”

“Kid,” he let the word out like a sigh.

“I know,” she said, “I know it’s hard for you to be here.” She swallowed audibly. “Don’t you think it’s hard for us, too? Stryker and his men attacked this place.”

Logan’s voice softened. “The Professor won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Sounds nice, but you don’t know that for sure.” Rogue sounded bitter. Kitty frowned. At least Rogue hadn’t been shot. Of course, she had had the police pointing guns at her and got sucked out of the Blackbird and thought she was going to die. Okay, she had a right to sound bitter.

“Stryker’s dead. You don’t have to worry about him any more.”

“Where one falls, another takes his place,” Rogue said, sounding as if she was quoting something. “You know there are others like him out there.”

“Without him, they won’t get too far.”

“You can’t be sure of that.”

He sounded angry. “You can’t be sure of anything.”

“That’s what I mean.” Her voice rose to keep up with his. “I don’t want you to leave.” The last words she spoke shattered with her emotions.

“Hey,” he said gently, comfortingly, “I’ll come back.”

She sniffled. “I’m afraid,” she said and sniffed again.

“No one’s gonna hurt you here,” he said. “Cyke and me just updated all the surveillance. An ant couldn’t walk by without being noticed.”

She took a shuddering breath. “I’m not scared of that,” she said. “I’m afraid you’re gonna chase after those ghosts.”

“Huh?”

Swallowing, her voice thick, she said, “Stryker.” And then, “Jean.”

“Look, kid.”

She cut him off. “I know you. Just ‘cause Stryker’s dead doesn’t mean you’re not still trying to find out who you were.”

Curtly, he said, “Stryker put that tag on me like a collar, like I was some sort of animal. His animal. That’s what he called me.” He made some sort of sound, something like a cross between a laugh and a grunt. “He said he’d tell me all about my past, if I just went with him.”

“If he knew about you, there are others,” she said.

“Yeah, well, I don’t really have any leads on finding them, do I.” It was obviously his turn to sound bitter.

“You won’t find Jean out there, either.”

He sucked in a breath. “I’m not looking for her.”

“No, you’re runnin’ away ‘cause you can’t stand to be here, where she was. Where everything reminds you of her.”

“That’s not why I’m going,” Logan said, though he sounded a little desperate.

“You sure about that, Logan? ‘Cause from where I’m standing, it sure looks like it.”

“All right, kid. You wanna know?” His voice was strident. “That’s exactly why I’m leavin’. I can’t stand bein’ here and expectin’ to see her and know she’s not comin’ back. I can’t look at Cyclops without seein’ how much her bein’ gone is tearin’ him up. Storm and the Professor ain’t in any better shape.”

“Which is why we need you to stay,” she said.

He went on as if he hadn’t heard her. “Things aren’t the same around here. I can’t stand her not bein’ here and I can’t stand that you –” he bit off whatever it was he’d been about to say.

Her voice was so soft, Kitty almost couldn’t hear it. “You can’t stand what about me, Logan?”

“Forget it, kid,” he said but without his normal vehemence. “I-I shouldn’t’ve said,” his voice trailed off.

Kitty couldn’t stand it any more. She slid forward slowly to peek out the window. Rogue’s gloved fingers rested against Logan’s mouth. “Shh,” Rogue said, her fingers skating along his lips and moving up so her palm hovered over his cheek. He reacted almost as if her touch wasn’t guarded by leather, groaning as he sank to his knees in front of her. Kitty watched as he wrapped his arms around Rogue’s waist, burying his face against her stomach. Rogue bent over him, cradling his head and even though their voices were little more than whispers, Kitty could hear what they said. Pulling back and marking her place in her book with her finger, Kitty eased to her feet and slipped away from the window.

There were certain things that weren’t supposed to be heard. But the mansion was a school, and home to kids and adults and everyone should know that no matter how secluded you think you are, someone could always be listening.

There are certain things that Kitty knows she’s not supposed to know. The fact that Rogue and Logan love each other is probably one of them.


	2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't the way things were supposed to be.

There are some things he wishes he didn’t remember and there are some things he can never forget. But he’d come away with one certainty from all this:

Bobby Drake hated change.

At one point in his life, he was all for it. He’d even laughed when Professor X gave a lecture on change and how to cope with with the stress it caused. Because, after all, the biggest changes he was looking forward to were graduation, college and a little black leather outfit that’d proclaim him part of the team known as the X-Men.

That was then, of course. B.L. Before Logan.

The rational side of him knew it wasn’t Logan’s fault. In fact, he had a lot to thank Logan for, namely the very attractive young woman known as Rogue, currently his girlfriend. If Logan hadn’t come into his life, Rogue probably wouldn’t have either. That doesn’t make him wish that maybe they’d come into his life at different times.

Of course, he really hadn’t paid any attention to Logan the first time the guy showed up at the mansion. Bobby couldn’t even remember if he’d seen the man Jubilee had referred to as “tall, dark and hairy-some” except on the day Logan was walking out of the mansion doors. Even then, he hadn’t paid too much attention, all right, he was in the middle of a foosball game and Rogue smacked him on the arm and ran off to say goodbye.

And that, as they say, was that.

And then Logan came back from wherever he’d gone and everything in Bobby’s life went to hell.

Again, he knew that Logan wasn’t responsible for any of it, well, most of it. He just happened to come back to the school and interrupted the first time Bobby was going to kiss Rogue. That was a coincidence. A sort of an ominous one, if he looked back on it but Bobby tried not to dwell. It wasn’t really in his nature.

But there were certain things that were supposed to happen in his life and this sure as hell wasn’t the way things were supposed to be.

Logan returned and Bobby had to watch Rogue, his girlfriend, throw her arms around him. A little sick voice piped up with the comment that he’d never seen Rogue look quite as happy as she did when she saw Logan. So he’d butted in on their reunion and froze Logan’s hand.

He’d meant for that to happen, a little warning – stay away from my girl or else. Logan just gave him the kind of look that people reserved for, well, reserved for other people who weren’t really a threat. And Rogue just stood there, with this goofy smile on her face. Not for him, oh no, that smile was directed at tall, dark and hairy-some.

Bobby wasn’t supposed to have a rival for Rogue. All right, he knew John kinda liked her, despite what John said; a guy always knows when another guy likes his girl. And he’d seen the way John sometimes looked at Rogue. It didn’t mean anything because Rogue never looked at John the way she looked at him.

But he’d never seen the way that Rogue looked at Logan. Kinda the way Logan looked at Dr. Grey. And Bobby took some comfort in knowing as long as Logan had the hots for Dr. Grey, there wouldn’t be any way he’d turn his attention to Rogue.

Before Logan, Bobby thought of the school as a safe place. Again, it wasn’t Logan’s fault that Stryker and his men attacked the mansion the very night that Logan returned. And Bobby knew he ought to be thankful for Logan for killing those people, making sure that he, Rogue and John were safe. But he’d never had to watch someone die before and never, ever expected to see Logan killing people, especially not in the halls of the school and certainly not in the kitchen, right in front of him.

There were other things that weren’t supposed to happen that did, in less than a handful of days after Logan returned. His family wasn’t supposed to look at him in horror when he showed them his gift. They weren’t supposed to stare at him or his girlfriend or his best friend, or even Logan, like they were some sort of freaks. His family wasn’t supposed to talk to him like he was gay, for god’s sake. “Have you tried not being a mutant?” It was the same fucking thing and they should’ve known; people can’t change the way they’re born. And Bobby hated that he’d been so complacent when Rogue had told him about her parents, how they’d shut her out of their lives when her gift surfaced. He’d been smug in the fact that his family would never do anything like that but they’d proved him just as shallow-minded and unfair as Rogue’s when they called the police.

John wasn’t supposed to leave. Bobby admitted to himself that John’s defection hurt almost as much as his family’s betrayal. He still couldn’t think about it without his chest tying up in knots. They’d been friends for years. Best friends. Their powers complemented each other. John wasn’t supposed to go over to the bad guys. They were supposed to be a team and fight together. They were supposed to be the ones kicking the asses of people like Magneto and Mystique. John wasn’t supposed to be on their side, he was supposed to be on Bobby’s. He was supposed to be there to watch Bobby’s back and Bobby was going to watch his.

Bobby wasn’t sure what he’d do the next time he saw John. Somehow, he knew it wasn’t over between them. It made him sick to his stomach but he couldn’t help but think about it. They’d practiced together. They knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths. When it came time, he’d be the one who’d have to take John down. And that was something he’d never even thought would be a possibility, B.L.

And then there was Dr. Grey. She wasn’t supposed to die. That was another thing. That was a huge thing, even though he really didn’t know Dr. Grey well. She was the one you got sent to when you broke an arm or needed stitches and she was the one who gave the sex talk. Man, that’d been embarrassing. Bobby remembered all the guys squirming in their seats, watching Dr. Grey roll a condom down a banana. John had complained later of having a hard-on watching her do it. Bobby kept his mouth shut but he’d had the same problem. He’d be willing to bet every guy in the class had felt the same way. And then he remembered she was a telepath and oh, god, that made it that much worse.

But Dr. Grey was cool. She’d smile in the halls and remembered your name and made you feel like you really counted.

And now she was dead.

Bobby hated seeing Mr. Summers walking around looking like he’d been gutted but he couldn’t think of anything to say or do. He thought maybe he ought to tell Mr. Summers about Dr. Grey and her classroom full of horny students but he just couldn’t get the nerve to do it. Rogue, on the other hand, had gone up to him and sat with him on the steps one day. Later, she said she told Mr. Summers about what it was like, having Logan in her head and how she’d found herself hitting on Dr. Grey. Rogue had blushed when she was telling Bobby and he’d thought it was cute. And he remembered that Mr. Summers had smiled and shook his head when he saw Rogue again later that week, like her story had really cheered him up.

“You could talk to him,” Rogue said, nudging Bobby with her shoulder while they were watching TV one Saturday afternoon. “He’d probably like to hear how all you guys were wanting Jean.”

And he noticed her slip on Dr. Grey’s name and realized it wasn’t the first time. He’d heard Rogue call Mr. Summers ‘Scott’ and Ms. Monroe ‘Storm’. And they let her. It was like that uniform. When they’d been at the White House, Rogue wore hers like it was her right to, even if Professor Xavier said, almost tiredly, that they shouldn’t get used to it. Bobby had just felt like he was standing there in a goofy suit but Professor X had practically introduced Rogue to the President.

Yes, Bobby Drake hated change. And he hated knowing certain things, like his girl had been out with Logan, riding behind him on a motorcycle. Rogue had mentioned it to him in the most off-hand way possible, telling him as she slid into the chair next to his at dinner that she wasn’t hungry ‘cause Logan had taken her into town and they’d eaten there. And Kitty had coughed and Jubilee pounded Kitty’s back and Rogue just looked at their friends like they were nuts.

But Bobby dredged up a smile and draped his arm around the back of Rogue’s chair because he wasn’t going to go forcing a change in the status quo. Not while Rogue was sitting next to him. Not even after seeing her and Logan ride up on that bike, the way she’d let him take her helmet off and ruffle her hair. The way she’d leaned into his touch, so trustingly. The way they’d hugged each other, like maybe they were both afraid the other one would suddenly disappear.

There’re certain things he’s not prepared to deal with yet. Not John’s defection or his family’s betrayal nor Dr. Grey’s death nor Rogue leaving him for Logan. He knows he can’t hide from it forever, knows he’ll have to actually deal with it instead of hiding it away and letting it fester.

But until then, Bobby Drake can hate the change.


End file.
